Monday, February 28, 2011

Overheard on a bus.

"A woman was breathless over me this morning.
For three hours she was breathless.
She had to stitch my skull closed again, and she was breathless.
I told her I appreciated it very much.
I looked into her face, and do you know what. She was beautiful.
Do you want to know what she said to me.
She said to me she never wanted to see me again.
In a good way.
She meant she never wanted to have to stitch up my skull again.
She was breathless for three hours as she sewed up my skull."


On the bus home this evening, there was a middle aged man sipping on a can of Druids. As the journey progressed, he began to talk to himself. It sounded like a sort of poetry, or rap. The bus driver apologised on the way out, for what we endured. To be honest, I kind of enjoyed listening to him.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Friday, April 23, 2010

Saturday, March 27, 2010

The jigsaw is starting to fit....

Feeling slightly less traumatised about the horrific end to the 'date' the other night....I keep forgetting that I just have to sit back and everything will work out, click into place, theres nothing I can do to control it ...

Friday, March 26, 2010

bleuh

you know the way sometimes you feel like nothing works out.......I think i bring it on myself, most definitely... so i met a guy on saturday night. I wasn't that impressed, I mean, i thought he was hot enough to score for the night, but I wasn't looking for anything more. However, regardless, I gave him my phone number. Now, on Saturday night, lets just say I wasn't at my best, I was quite harsh, and kept calling him a Dickhead. SO on Sunday I was surprised to get a text from said 'dick head'. I don't know why, but I texted him back. ( I tell a lie, I do know why, its because Im quite pathetic when it comes to guys, and if anyone shows the slightest bit on interest I grab it with both hands, usually causing damage, its rather upsetting). I upheld my sharp, bitch-like persona during the texts, and couldn't believe it when he asked me to meet up for a drink. I said yes ( due to my pathetic nature, as i mentioned above). Nerves crippled me, I don't know why, because I thought I didn't like the guy, I was going to get a few drinks, nothing more. When I got there, I was so attracted to him, It amazed me. I thought he was absolutely georgeous, just my type. We got on well, apart from the fact that he lied about his occupation on Saturday. Turns out, working in Insurance is a big turn off for girls. Who Knew? So we had a few drinks, chatted about most things. Then we moved to a quieter pub, and it was going well, he kept caressing my wrist, when talking about which tattoo I should get. As the alcohol consumed my veigns, so did Joe Blackishness, his knee kept rubbing against my thighs underneath the table. We were so close, I could almost feel his breath, however, still in a public place.
SUDDENLY
He says he has an early start in the morning, so I gulp my drink into me, we walk outside, me expecting AT LEAST a peck on the lips. and NOTHING, zilch.
"ok, so i'll text you"
SHIT..... oh how the tables had turned. I hated this guy, I was too cocky, I thought I could do better. Now, I seemed to have repulsed him somehow. I felt absolutely awful, I still do. My confidence was shattered to pieces. The situation went from me thinking I was above him, and I could use him for a few dates ( an attitude I completely regret) to me feeling like He was disgusted by me, the way I looked, the way I spoke, everything. I went from not caring about him, to feeling like I should be worthy of his text messages. Its absolutely tragic, what girls have to go through.
Now it may seem a bit silly to say one can get traumatised from a first date, but traumatised is what I feel like. Three days later, I feel horrendous. On sunday, I dreaded the thought of him texting me, NOW, i keep checking my phone.
My point is, I thought going on a date, with someone you aren't really into, would boost my confidence, make me feel like a normal, single girl. It has done the complete opposite. I feel awful. Below zero, in a state of depression. I suppose I feel like, he rejected me, for who I am. He got a taster of who I am, and he didn't like it. I feel like a clothing item, which was bought on a whim, and then returned. I hope I can get over it somehow, Im sure I will.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Friday, February 12, 2010